*crunch crunch*

2 months is a long time. Until something significant enough happens to make it pass by as fast as the average childhood, that is. Relative time is funny, isn't it? Regardless, it's all good as long as you don't regret it. That's the secret right there.

But indeed, I know it's been a long time since my last update. Between family obligations, big changes at work, and plans for the future, I've really just not had the usual drive to write the weekly updates. Anyway, a lot has happened, so let's get down to it.

Having mah big sister home was fantastic. If anything, the relationship between the three siblings in the family only grows stronger with age, and it's pretty tough to beat so much shared experience. Even as we change, there's just too much holding us together to let anything get really bad between us. And if it does (and this is the most important, most precious thing about it), we talk about it. We don't let it stew and fester, or explode with it at any point. We just....talk about it. Usually over lunch. It's really, really nice. Anyway, it was a wonderful month for that if nothing else, with a lot of great memories. The only thing that could have made it better would have been to have had it during the summer when Mom and Dad could spend more time away from work, but that just wasn't in the cards this time around. Meh, maybe next year.

As I mentioned above, work has been nuts. The manager I liked, due to a number of reasons both known and unknown, was 'let go' and the assistant I've never gotten along with put in charge. Twofold difficulty here: first, that means we necessarily have to interact just about all the time, ratcheting up our collective blood pressure a few notches; and second, I'm now the last not-medically-constrained strong man working at the Hospice Thrift here. Have something to lift? Furniture to move? A delivery that day? Well, we'll just change around the schedules and breaks to make sure that you're working that day and time. I guess to be honest it's not a whole lot worse than the schedule woes of working at the theater, but it's irritating after a having a decently reliable schedule for so many months. And Lordy, is hasn't been doing my back any favors. Doesn't matter how careful I am in lifting and taking breaks, if we don't get someone else soon, massages and chiropractor visits are going to start being mandatory rather than just helpful. Yeeeesh...

The last major thing, and perhaps the greatest impediment towards me keeping this blog updated is that I've started writing another blog that's centered entirely around my writing. I decided it was time to separate the two into their own self-contained portions, and while I don't think this was a bad idea in theory, I've found that when it comes to writing, my perseverance lasts precisely one major blog post or story section. I'd finish a good chunk, be satisfied, and then realize that I hadn't updated this beast in three (four, six, eight) weeks, and lose aaaalllll of that stored up energy. And then it's back to video games, and nobody else wants that.

Personally, the point of separating the two blogs was that, while my everyday life tends to be pretty PG, my writing often ventures into those darker areas that not everybody really wants to read or hear about every day, especially those with young children. So far, I can't recall having posted anything particularly disagreeable other than the occasional swear word; with the recent large story I'll be writing and posting fairly often, I can't make any promises. So, I'll leave up to your individual discretion as to how much you'd like to keep track of progress. The blog can be found here, and, with the above in mind, I welcome one and all. Especially if you leave comments and critiques. Please leave comments and critiques! They are the lifeblood of the writer, struggling or otherwise, and I'm looking for all I can get.

I suppose those are the major updates for now. Hoping for more rain, less hail, and spring less tumultuous than the preceding winter. Oh, and for your patience in sticking with me, have some tasty moon walking gifs before you go.

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(Exit stage right) And goodnight!

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A month behind.

In more ways than one. Sorry, I know it's been a while, but this month has been extraordinarily stressful. Not always in a bad way...just, well, everything has been superlative. If something has been good, it's been amazing; if bad, terrible; if sad, devastating; etc., etc. It's definitely a change of pace from the slow Autumn months, but it just wears on a guy, you know? Personally, I think I'm just about ready to call it on 2012. Enough living for this year; let's get on with 2013. Or just to somewhere around December 22nd, if you believe in world-eating Shadow Panthers.

Anyway, let's get down to it.

Work has kind of sucked lately. I originally wrote about a half-page rant to post here, but I then I thought about how little anybody wants to read about somebody else complaining, so I'll cut it down. With the Christmas and New Years donation rushes done, there's very little to do, more community service volunteers than ever. Usually it's my job to find something for them, since outdoor work takes very little training or trust. But seriously, you can only ask a guy to clean furniture or sweep the parking lot so many times.

Also, (permit me just one little rant) I've got to say: I understand completely that what you're saying to me isn't meant to be a criticism, and I'm doing my best to not take it as such. It's a New Years Resolution of mine to be less defensive. But for the love of Pete, all the good intent in the world wont make me feel better if you talk to me like I'm a four year old. It's that perfect mix of imperious and matter-of-fact with just a tinge of incredulous in your voice that makes it sound like you're questioning the entirety of my common sense and judgement each time you tell me to do something. Then I get stressed and peeved, and you get stressed, and everything gets a little worse. Urgh.

Still, I think it's worth saying that this last few weeks may have been a bit worse compared to the week I spent down south. Seeing everybody again (and literally, it was EVERYBODY, which was amazing) made one short week as awesome as it could be. As much fun as the board games and the RPGs and meals out were, I think my favorite night of all was just when we all went and took a walk like we used to. The trip to the Edison and going out for ramen was great; late-night drives for food were loads of fun; and spending hours playing board games and video games is always a good time. But over all, I think honestly what I miss the most was those trips back and forth from dining halls after classes were done, where we could just occupy ourselves and relax. Even if it was in a hurry, or none of us could do anything that night, just having one other person to walk and eat with makes a world of difference. And having everybody like that? That's a memory I'll treasure. Thanks for that, guys.

Also a month late, I'm making a serious push towards healthier living. I can't push off the extra weight as muscle any more, not with how boring work has been, and I think I'd feel a lot better without a heck of a lot of work. Healthier food, more regular workouts, more meditation and reading...as much as the lack of delicious chips will hurt, it's time to get started.

Also, less computer brain-rotting time.


Mmyep.

I think it's time for a bit of a change in the writing department too. The big story I was talking about months ago has all but fallen apart to multiple idea changes and re-writes, and while I think I'll have pieces of it in other things, the bigger project is just about kaput. The last few months have been mostly short stories and vignettes, with some pretty terrible poetry thrown in for good measure. I don't really have a problem with this, and I think there's something about the snapshot quality of a short story that really appeals to me, but I want to be able to carry out a good extended story too. The problem with the old one was that I got too self-critical, and stopped updating when I saw how much was 'wrong' with it. What does this mean? It's time to write bits of something and actually post them where people can read and criticize them. The tricky thing now will be finding somewhere I can post writing that people will read, and that isn't fan fiction. The old group I was in has dissolved, and honestly considering how depressing the writing was, I don't miss it much. I've got a new group I'm a part of too, but I haven't posted anything to it yet. I think it's time to get started.

On that note, I'm also kicking around the idea of starting another blog where I just post writing updates. Think it'll motivate me more, and I would welcome, nigh bloody beg for, criticism from all and sundry. Thoughts?

Anyway, sorry again for a late update. I hope things are going well for everybody. Let's see...aaahhhh not much in the online movie department lately. So let's just call it here.

Here's to 2011

Firstly, I'm sorry for not updating in nearly a month. A lot has happened in the past several weeks, and, perhaps selfishly on my part, the last thing I wanted to do was write about my life. That's not meant to sound like I'm depressed or angry or anything; there have just been other, more pressing things to focus on rather than how I'm going to boil down Christmas at the thrift store.

So, I thought about what I would want to write about. A lot came to mind, spread out all over the entirety of this past year. In the interest of trying to avoid clichés (and avoiding breaking out into a variety-show-type filler montage), I thought I'd just kind of go at it at random as it hits me. And I would tell the truth about it all.

So, without further babbling, this was 2011 for me.

2011 was living with friends. It was friends at school, fantastic people who I just about always got along with who taught me to enjoy what I like doing. It was new friends at work, none of them less than twice my age, and each of them full of experience I couldn't imagine. It was moving home, and the mix of comfort and shame that comes with it at age 23. It was finishing school and still not quite believing that I couldn't live at Pomona any more. It was a lot of books, and a lot of anime. It was writing papers for school, botching part of the final speech for my senior project, and making up for it in the Q&A.

2011 was living at home. It as living with parents who love me unconditionally, and I them, even though they get on my nerves at times. It was friends at home, who I continue to regret not spending more time with. It was working, full time and non-seasonally, for the first time in my life, and all of the stress and satisfaction that comes with it. It was a change in the weather, and a the first fully scheduled existence since High School. It was making and spending money, but still being far from any real independence.

2011 was art. It was the realization that I might have some talent that exists independent of the opinions of others. It was putting memories and ideas into written words, usually into some kind of strange free form prose. It was confidence, more or less, and a lot more time spent on the computer doing things other than rotting my brain. It was rotting my rain on the computer a lot of the time. It was erasing and rewriting more than I ever thought was possible. It was the realization that writing multiple drafts wasn't the worst part of the writing process.

2011 was expansion and contraction. It was meeting and dealing with new people. It was realizing how imperfect people could be, and how much I still liked them for it. It was dealing with problems, and ignoring others. It was passive aggressive, though somewhat less so than other years. It was the benefit of the doubt, always. It was realizing, for the first time, how lucky I really was. It was someone very dear passing away and someone very special entering the picture. It was depression, though very little. It was optimistic logic.

2011 was inflammatory. It was anger at angry politicians, book-cover judgments, and frustration. It was a little bit of extra weight around the midsection. It was full of mistakes, and full of misdirection. It was a pursed mouth and a forced smile rolled into one. It was dropping popularity ratings and omnipresent criticism. It was cats with diabetes. It was debt, damnation, and expectation. It was loss of interest, and, for some, a loss of hope. It was a lot of Irish breakfast tea and incense sticks.

2011 was, and I was a part of it, and so were you.

Thank you for that. It meant a lot to me.



(It was also a year that I don't have any online videos to represent. So, in lieu of that, have an Even Stevphen compilation. I think it fits, don't you?)

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
10 F#@king Years - Even Stevphen
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

And again!

Stiiillll late. Well, I'm tired! Sue me! >:C

A couple of fun things this time! First and foremost, just yesterday I purchased round trip tickets to LA! Going back in mid-January for almost a whole week to visit friends, grad and undergrad, and really, really looking forward to it. Seriously, it's going to be just about the most awesome (post) Christmas vacation ever. Internet or not, CRIMETY I miss you guys.

Next up, remember that writing contest I mentioned I entered last time? Well, I won! Honestly, I was surprised. As happy as I was with my entry (and I was, remarkably so), there were some really fantastic entries competing against me, and I felt honored to have my piece chosen above them all. Along with it came a prize equivalent to about $25 bucks for merchandise on that site, so awesome! I think I'll treat myself to an art print or a sweatshirt or something to celebrate. :)

And...well, I made a promise to myself that, if I won, I would share it with people who wanted it. So anyway, here's the piece I wrote on it. And dangit, it STILL didn't format it right when I posted it; it had a visual component to it too that just fell through the cracks. Ehhhh, whatever. The rest of the week kind of dragged on, so at least getting the contest announcement perked it up a bit. Overall, it's a great incentive to keep writing, whether long or short stories.

Mmmyep. That's about all of the big excitement here. Sorry for a short post, but I'll leave you with some more fun stuff to make up for it. Musical songs this time! Fast ones.




Props to the xylophone player here too...yeesh.



All right, I'm off to shower. G'night, all.

Ahh! I'm LATE!

To just about everything, but most importantly, in writing this post! I'll have to make it up to y'all, and, heck I dunno, draw you a picture next time.

See, time got away with me with all that's happened since last time, most of which y'all know about in terms of relatives and such. My big excuse is being over here house-sitting for the week, for a teacher that works with Mom and Dad. (Not sure why I don't say names; I guess I just figured they wouldn't want their names mentioned out of nowhere, especially in a post that says they're not home. You know, ON THE INTERNET, where nothing is safe!) :o

Anyway, it's been a good time as usual, taking care of the dogs and the cats and the chickens. It's much different this time in 'winter' though; basically everybody but Lily (the dog) is asleep by the time I get home from work since it's getting darker so much earlier. For some reason, this annual occurrence still seems to surprise me.... So, it's basically getting the laid eggs from the coop, getting everybody's food ready, playing with Lily for a while to burn all that excess energy she always seems to have (lucky dog!), and then getting to making dinner before shutting everything safe for the night. Today was my day off, so I got to spend a lot of time with the dog and whatever cats would approach me, heh.

Also, man! the chickens are so, so much friendlier this time! Before, they'd scatter at my mere presence, and getting them to all cooperate and go somewhere was...well, you remember that training scene in Rocky where he's chasing the chicken around? Well imagine that with four chickens instead, add an overexcited dog, and replace top-shape Stallone with an irritable 23 year old trying to leave for work on time. Well THIS time they're basically the coolest critters in the yard, couldn't care less whether I was there or not, and more than willing (HAPPY even) to be picked up and / or petted! Unless it's feeding time in the morning in which case, I'm not kidding, they'll give me flat tires and flap after me until I throw out their daily cracked-corn breakfast. Real friendly, they are, before work.

It's also been a nice chance to read and write a bit. Ah, an important aside on that: I realized that, as paralyzing as I find receiving criticism to be in concern to my own work, a lot of writers out there who post their work do so to RECEIVE criticism. OK, I'm kidding about just realizing it, but still, on most of the writing sites I frequent, the amount of actual criticism people receive (as opposed to just comments, or jibes from the internet bastards out there) is pretty skimpy. I've got a few pals that've been asking for it from the start, and all I've ever said was basically, "Oh boy! It's great! Look forward to the next!", or worse, not read it at all. Well, I'm decent at figuring out the good and the bad in what I read, so I've decided to really make an effort to give legitimate criticism to the people who really want it on these sites. Hopefully this'll make me more able to take criticism, as well as give me the guts to start posting and sharing more of my work. Lord help me, I've even joined a contest to write a short piece concerning a painting on one of the sites, due two weeks from now. I'm looking forward to it, and I think actually having a bit of a deadline will get the creative juices flowing. I'm not forgetting about the other story by any means, but I think I need a bit of a break from it. You know, come at it from another angle in a bit.

That's about all of the excitement for now. In the mean time, have some delicious culture, courtesy of YouTube!

First, a video of talented Mongolian throat singer, Peter Lai! (the text with the lyrics will disappear once he song starts, no worries).



And next, Kseniya Simonova, who won "Ukraine's Got Talent!" with the sand art piece shown here.



G'night y'all, and good luck! :)

Just a quicky...

During the game night tonight with friends, my character's mind got switched with that of a giant poisonous chicken.



Sufficed to say, getting in character was more than a little difficult. The chicken, however, seemed to have no trouble adjusting to its new existence.

Happy Halloween, y'all.

But why, WHY is he dancing Mamá?

Sorry, couldn't think of a good title so I threw up the last thing I heard on TV....And now I can't even remember what it was from. Meh, either way, it works I think. Better than those dang goofy cavemen at least.

Weyall... two weeks have passed by quickly. Though, to be honest, not a whole heck of a lot has happened, this past week especially. I've just been so dang tired these nights, and I guess there just wasn't a whole lot going on. (Also, doing stuff is haaaard.) Still, it's my fault. Gotta get out there and do stuff if I want...stuff...to do. Yeah. Anyway, it does mean I've been able to get a fair amount of stuff done at home. Finally gave my room a good cleaning, got all the laundry done, set up some plans for the coming week, and, most importantly, got a lot of research done for graduate school.

Sounds like I'll have to wait for a while to take the GRE, but I'll be able to take it online. Interestingly, I may also be able to do the entirety of my Masters online too, but that's definitely going to be a last resort. Going away to college, meeting new people, being in class in a new place away from home...it all really made a difference in my life, and I'd really hate to cut out a chance for greater experiences. But if it comes down to it, it will be nice to be able to keep working full-time and get the degree. To tell the truth, one of the best looking options right now would be going back down south to the Claremont Graduate University, since they seem to have a lot of resources for grads from the 5C's. But for the moment, I'm just saving up and enjoying myself for awhile.

I've also managed to get a lot done on my writing, though there isn't much to show for it, heh. These last few weeks largely revolved around writing projects that weren't directly connected to the bigger story. I've been reading a lot of these goofy little online horror pieces affectionately called Creepypasta (bastardized from the copy-paste function, the way these stories tend to spread), and I've tried writing a few myself. In general, as is the case for most online literature, the vast majority of the stuff out there is pretty awful, but there are a few gems. They're generally not real bloody or grueling (unlike the turn the horror movie industry has taken over the last decade, ugh), but try hard to manipulate those basic insecurities and fears that we all have. They make you question just how safe you are, or how much you know about the world; in short, they get under your skin. Hence, creepy. I've written a bit of horror stuff before now for RPG stuff (and my favorite session I ever ran, and one of the few that didn't run waaaay over time, was basically Lovecraftian horror themed), and what I wrote isn't TOO bad, but not quite good enough to share. Also not done. But I can say it revolves around the concept of infinity, and how people deal with it.

On the big story, I've got a major question to ask you all. I've been considering transferring the whole thing over to first-person narration. It would mean a fair deal of work in rewriting, and I would have to be very careful to maintain the character as someone very different and separate from myself, but I think it would save a lot of time overall and give a clearer view of the concepts I'm trying to deal with. So! With that in mind, what do you all think about reading stories (that is, fiction) from the first person as opposed to third? Any opinions on really good first and third person stories you've enjoyed, or you thought did a particularly good job of it?

I said to myself this was going to be a short post, and I think in that spirit I'll cut it off here. To make up for the lack of overall information, please enjoy a few tasteful YouTube videos I spent waaay more time than justified surfing for this weekend:

I think this one is real...


...and this one just rocks...


...and this one is actually a pretty good 'explanation' of the Lovecraft stuff I was talking about, but in glorious children's show format!



And that's all for now. :)
P.S. I just learned how to embed youtube videos, can you tell? :D