Moved.

Well, I can't remember all of what I was going to write for the big finish to last time, so I'll sum up what I do remember to keep those answers from blowing away in the breeze
Philosophy is doubt because philosophy relies very heavily, though not entirely, upon a foundation of reason.  A flawless foundation of reason is difficult to come by.  Or, at least, a foundation that doesn't have a lot of prerequisites and provisos.  And if this foundation either has all of these prerequisites and/or has significant flaws, it becomes very difficult for a logically-bound person to subscribe to them wholeheartedly.

So, you get doubtful about things, even the things you grew up knowing to be true.

On Ethics being a terrible choice for a major, this statement isn't entirely fair.  True enough, it's a choice that makes it difficult to get a good job in very quickly, at least if not paired with something like politics, medicine, or law.  But there are plenty of majors out there like that, ethics doesn't particularly stand out among them.   No, what CAN make ethics a terrible major is that, at a time in your life when your horizon and education are rapidly expanding, taking courses in ethics increases the danger of coloring your perceptions with deep shades of cynicism and mistrust.

People aren't perfect.  But we are often forced to make decisions as if we are.  Our attempts to reconcile these two facts are what drive us to create some way of living that makes us feel as though our actions are correct or justified.  A study of ethics takes us deep into both why we feel this motivation, and why this is so bloody difficult.  So!  When someone who has studied ethics comes into contact with people who are thoughtless or cruel, or who think in terms of only black and white, it makes us want to tear our hair out.  Not that we aren't those same things, of course; we only just spend a lot mroe time thinking about it.  Altogether then, if one doesn't already have a strong belief in, say, the basic good-ness of people, it's rather easy to fall into cycles of distrust and separation.

So, if you feel like studying ethics, fantastic!  We need more people who think things through thoroughly.  Just make sure you've got the mental and optimistic fortitude to do so before you get the better of yourself.


But right!  What this was all supposed to be about was moving to San Fransisco for my new job as a User Ops engineer for Dropbox co.  User Ops being the fancy new phrase we use for Tech Support, mostly because tech support has such a nasty connotation these days.

The job is amazing.  The perks are amazing.  The people are some of the smartest, nicest, more capable individuals with whom I have ever worked.  And, I don't have to talk on the phone!  It's like a dream come true.

 This is basically how my job is, but with more fancy computers.

But good gravy, will I be busy.

San Fransisco is quite a place to live.  I already find myself hurrying about, walking faster than I ever have for no particular reason.  It's not like there aren't things to see, or that there's anything I have to make time for.  It's like there's a pace behind the city that one has to match.  Not against anyone else mind you; just to make sure that you're making the cut (whatever this means) in your own mind.  It's exhausting, but exhilarating.  Similarly, there are fewer places in the world that one can feel more private than in the middle of a busy street in the city.  Privacy isn't having your own space or not having anybody around you.  It's having the people you be so concerned with what's going on in their own lives that they literally can't spare you a second glance.  I find myself (quickly) walking more comfortably than I have in quite some time just because I feel like there's less of me being scrutinized and judged.  It's an odd feeling.

Unfortunately, I'm out of steam now, and there's a lot to do yet tonight.  Apologies again for neglecting this blog so badly.

Hope things are well at home and abroad.

Don't worry, this probably isn't going to be a running thing.  Probably.


But, well, I've neglected this blog for way too long (as some of you have so generously let me know  :) ) and it, and y'all, deserve better than that.  Rather than the usual 'work continues, kinda sucks' and 'plans for things, largely postponed', I've decided I want to write a bit about the part of my major that I'm most interested in.


I can't remember who wrote it first (Dave Barry, maybe?), but some wise person once wrote, "Talking about your major is one of the most interesting things in the world.  To you.  The rest of us, we'd rather you shut up and point us towards the nearest bar."


Keeping this in mind, don't worry.  I will be brief.


There is a certain expression that other people tend to give when, after being asked what major I took in college, I respond with 'philosophy.'  It's tough to describe perfectly, but I think I can get close.  You know that kind of brief upwards head tilt you give when you see someone you don't really want to meet waving to you in a crowd?  Combine it with the kind of tight lipped frown that only comes from doing your best not to spit after trying a terrible meal cooked by someone whose opinion you value dearly, and you've got the 'philosophy' face. 

 

Kind of like this.

If you're polite, that is.  Otherwise, you snort and clap me on the shoulder with a "good luck, want some fries with that?" or something.
Because, I mean, what in the world could be  less applicable to the real world than philosophy?  You can't build a house with philosophy.  Can't start a business with it (despite the name, a 'business philosophy' almost never includes actual philosophy).  And 'traveling philosopher' just doesn't quite pay as well as it did in Socrates' day.  It's almost never taught below the college level, and unlike math or language, I have yet to see it as a core requirement in any institution that does teach it.  There is no Nobel Prize in Philosophy, though a few Literature prizes have been philosophical treaties.  The names connected with it (other than the famous Greeks) are generally only vaguely recalled in dim memory, attached to some obscure term that's nearly always used improperly and out of context (like Occam's Razor), or, like Isaac Newton, remembered more for their other achievements.  And you really don't see many heroes, modern day or otherwise, becoming inspired by their mentors and coaches to take up the philosopher's path.  Heck, more often than not it's the villain who's managed to reason themselves into some kind of weird sociopathic corner of the universe, and it's the hero who provides the (short, simple, digestible) solution that tears it to pieces. 

 Thanks guys.  Thanks a lot. 

And it doesn't help that philosophers tend to write long, difficult pieces that require a background in philosophy to understand.  There are no 'easy problems' in philosophy.  No 2+2=x.  For example, I remember my first philosophy professor in college telling us on the first day of class, "All right everybody, since this is just an introductory course, let's start off the year with an easy one."  He turned to the blackboard behind him and wrote in large, clear block letters:



ON THE EXISTENCE OF GOD.

 
Even if it was a joke, I understand now a bit more what he was getting at when he said, 'easy.'  It wasn't that there was an easy answer; heck, the debate's baffled philosophers for millennia.  Rather, he had decided to start us on a topic about which there exist an extraordinarily large number of clear, concise arguments on just about every imaginable little detail.  Unlike some of the trickier bits that is, like the existence of the soul, or why you shouldn't kick your neighbor's dog.

And---oh man, this is already longer than I was hoping.  Errr, fine, let's rap this up.  I'll leave you with the following that occurred to me in the tub after a long day at work.

 

 (The expression fits pretty well too.)

"Philosophy is doubt."

Next blog, I'll talk about what the heck that even means, and why ethics is a terrible choice for a major.

*crunch crunch*

2 months is a long time. Until something significant enough happens to make it pass by as fast as the average childhood, that is. Relative time is funny, isn't it? Regardless, it's all good as long as you don't regret it. That's the secret right there.

But indeed, I know it's been a long time since my last update. Between family obligations, big changes at work, and plans for the future, I've really just not had the usual drive to write the weekly updates. Anyway, a lot has happened, so let's get down to it.

Having mah big sister home was fantastic. If anything, the relationship between the three siblings in the family only grows stronger with age, and it's pretty tough to beat so much shared experience. Even as we change, there's just too much holding us together to let anything get really bad between us. And if it does (and this is the most important, most precious thing about it), we talk about it. We don't let it stew and fester, or explode with it at any point. We just....talk about it. Usually over lunch. It's really, really nice. Anyway, it was a wonderful month for that if nothing else, with a lot of great memories. The only thing that could have made it better would have been to have had it during the summer when Mom and Dad could spend more time away from work, but that just wasn't in the cards this time around. Meh, maybe next year.

As I mentioned above, work has been nuts. The manager I liked, due to a number of reasons both known and unknown, was 'let go' and the assistant I've never gotten along with put in charge. Twofold difficulty here: first, that means we necessarily have to interact just about all the time, ratcheting up our collective blood pressure a few notches; and second, I'm now the last not-medically-constrained strong man working at the Hospice Thrift here. Have something to lift? Furniture to move? A delivery that day? Well, we'll just change around the schedules and breaks to make sure that you're working that day and time. I guess to be honest it's not a whole lot worse than the schedule woes of working at the theater, but it's irritating after a having a decently reliable schedule for so many months. And Lordy, is hasn't been doing my back any favors. Doesn't matter how careful I am in lifting and taking breaks, if we don't get someone else soon, massages and chiropractor visits are going to start being mandatory rather than just helpful. Yeeeesh...

The last major thing, and perhaps the greatest impediment towards me keeping this blog updated is that I've started writing another blog that's centered entirely around my writing. I decided it was time to separate the two into their own self-contained portions, and while I don't think this was a bad idea in theory, I've found that when it comes to writing, my perseverance lasts precisely one major blog post or story section. I'd finish a good chunk, be satisfied, and then realize that I hadn't updated this beast in three (four, six, eight) weeks, and lose aaaalllll of that stored up energy. And then it's back to video games, and nobody else wants that.

Personally, the point of separating the two blogs was that, while my everyday life tends to be pretty PG, my writing often ventures into those darker areas that not everybody really wants to read or hear about every day, especially those with young children. So far, I can't recall having posted anything particularly disagreeable other than the occasional swear word; with the recent large story I'll be writing and posting fairly often, I can't make any promises. So, I'll leave up to your individual discretion as to how much you'd like to keep track of progress. The blog can be found here, and, with the above in mind, I welcome one and all. Especially if you leave comments and critiques. Please leave comments and critiques! They are the lifeblood of the writer, struggling or otherwise, and I'm looking for all I can get.

I suppose those are the major updates for now. Hoping for more rain, less hail, and spring less tumultuous than the preceding winter. Oh, and for your patience in sticking with me, have some tasty moon walking gifs before you go.

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(Exit stage right) And goodnight!

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A month behind.

In more ways than one. Sorry, I know it's been a while, but this month has been extraordinarily stressful. Not always in a bad way...just, well, everything has been superlative. If something has been good, it's been amazing; if bad, terrible; if sad, devastating; etc., etc. It's definitely a change of pace from the slow Autumn months, but it just wears on a guy, you know? Personally, I think I'm just about ready to call it on 2012. Enough living for this year; let's get on with 2013. Or just to somewhere around December 22nd, if you believe in world-eating Shadow Panthers.

Anyway, let's get down to it.

Work has kind of sucked lately. I originally wrote about a half-page rant to post here, but I then I thought about how little anybody wants to read about somebody else complaining, so I'll cut it down. With the Christmas and New Years donation rushes done, there's very little to do, more community service volunteers than ever. Usually it's my job to find something for them, since outdoor work takes very little training or trust. But seriously, you can only ask a guy to clean furniture or sweep the parking lot so many times.

Also, (permit me just one little rant) I've got to say: I understand completely that what you're saying to me isn't meant to be a criticism, and I'm doing my best to not take it as such. It's a New Years Resolution of mine to be less defensive. But for the love of Pete, all the good intent in the world wont make me feel better if you talk to me like I'm a four year old. It's that perfect mix of imperious and matter-of-fact with just a tinge of incredulous in your voice that makes it sound like you're questioning the entirety of my common sense and judgement each time you tell me to do something. Then I get stressed and peeved, and you get stressed, and everything gets a little worse. Urgh.

Still, I think it's worth saying that this last few weeks may have been a bit worse compared to the week I spent down south. Seeing everybody again (and literally, it was EVERYBODY, which was amazing) made one short week as awesome as it could be. As much fun as the board games and the RPGs and meals out were, I think my favorite night of all was just when we all went and took a walk like we used to. The trip to the Edison and going out for ramen was great; late-night drives for food were loads of fun; and spending hours playing board games and video games is always a good time. But over all, I think honestly what I miss the most was those trips back and forth from dining halls after classes were done, where we could just occupy ourselves and relax. Even if it was in a hurry, or none of us could do anything that night, just having one other person to walk and eat with makes a world of difference. And having everybody like that? That's a memory I'll treasure. Thanks for that, guys.

Also a month late, I'm making a serious push towards healthier living. I can't push off the extra weight as muscle any more, not with how boring work has been, and I think I'd feel a lot better without a heck of a lot of work. Healthier food, more regular workouts, more meditation and reading...as much as the lack of delicious chips will hurt, it's time to get started.

Also, less computer brain-rotting time.


Mmyep.

I think it's time for a bit of a change in the writing department too. The big story I was talking about months ago has all but fallen apart to multiple idea changes and re-writes, and while I think I'll have pieces of it in other things, the bigger project is just about kaput. The last few months have been mostly short stories and vignettes, with some pretty terrible poetry thrown in for good measure. I don't really have a problem with this, and I think there's something about the snapshot quality of a short story that really appeals to me, but I want to be able to carry out a good extended story too. The problem with the old one was that I got too self-critical, and stopped updating when I saw how much was 'wrong' with it. What does this mean? It's time to write bits of something and actually post them where people can read and criticize them. The tricky thing now will be finding somewhere I can post writing that people will read, and that isn't fan fiction. The old group I was in has dissolved, and honestly considering how depressing the writing was, I don't miss it much. I've got a new group I'm a part of too, but I haven't posted anything to it yet. I think it's time to get started.

On that note, I'm also kicking around the idea of starting another blog where I just post writing updates. Think it'll motivate me more, and I would welcome, nigh bloody beg for, criticism from all and sundry. Thoughts?

Anyway, sorry again for a late update. I hope things are going well for everybody. Let's see...aaahhhh not much in the online movie department lately. So let's just call it here.

Here's to 2011

Firstly, I'm sorry for not updating in nearly a month. A lot has happened in the past several weeks, and, perhaps selfishly on my part, the last thing I wanted to do was write about my life. That's not meant to sound like I'm depressed or angry or anything; there have just been other, more pressing things to focus on rather than how I'm going to boil down Christmas at the thrift store.

So, I thought about what I would want to write about. A lot came to mind, spread out all over the entirety of this past year. In the interest of trying to avoid clichés (and avoiding breaking out into a variety-show-type filler montage), I thought I'd just kind of go at it at random as it hits me. And I would tell the truth about it all.

So, without further babbling, this was 2011 for me.

2011 was living with friends. It was friends at school, fantastic people who I just about always got along with who taught me to enjoy what I like doing. It was new friends at work, none of them less than twice my age, and each of them full of experience I couldn't imagine. It was moving home, and the mix of comfort and shame that comes with it at age 23. It was finishing school and still not quite believing that I couldn't live at Pomona any more. It was a lot of books, and a lot of anime. It was writing papers for school, botching part of the final speech for my senior project, and making up for it in the Q&A.

2011 was living at home. It as living with parents who love me unconditionally, and I them, even though they get on my nerves at times. It was friends at home, who I continue to regret not spending more time with. It was working, full time and non-seasonally, for the first time in my life, and all of the stress and satisfaction that comes with it. It was a change in the weather, and a the first fully scheduled existence since High School. It was making and spending money, but still being far from any real independence.

2011 was art. It was the realization that I might have some talent that exists independent of the opinions of others. It was putting memories and ideas into written words, usually into some kind of strange free form prose. It was confidence, more or less, and a lot more time spent on the computer doing things other than rotting my brain. It was rotting my rain on the computer a lot of the time. It was erasing and rewriting more than I ever thought was possible. It was the realization that writing multiple drafts wasn't the worst part of the writing process.

2011 was expansion and contraction. It was meeting and dealing with new people. It was realizing how imperfect people could be, and how much I still liked them for it. It was dealing with problems, and ignoring others. It was passive aggressive, though somewhat less so than other years. It was the benefit of the doubt, always. It was realizing, for the first time, how lucky I really was. It was someone very dear passing away and someone very special entering the picture. It was depression, though very little. It was optimistic logic.

2011 was inflammatory. It was anger at angry politicians, book-cover judgments, and frustration. It was a little bit of extra weight around the midsection. It was full of mistakes, and full of misdirection. It was a pursed mouth and a forced smile rolled into one. It was dropping popularity ratings and omnipresent criticism. It was cats with diabetes. It was debt, damnation, and expectation. It was loss of interest, and, for some, a loss of hope. It was a lot of Irish breakfast tea and incense sticks.

2011 was, and I was a part of it, and so were you.

Thank you for that. It meant a lot to me.



(It was also a year that I don't have any online videos to represent. So, in lieu of that, have an Even Stevphen compilation. I think it fits, don't you?)

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
10 F#@king Years - Even Stevphen
www.thedailyshow.com
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